


Pumpkin Carving and Cuddles

by Blissfulbroadway



Series: DEH Oneshots [2]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: For the most part, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Jokes, M/M, Mild Blood, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pumpkin carving, Pumpkins, Sex Jokes, Swearing, happy boys, i swear it’s not half as bad as these tags make it sound, its cute, its funny and cute I think, lots of em - Freeform, what do you expect??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 00:33:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16169942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blissfulbroadway/pseuds/Blissfulbroadway
Summary: “Thats another way to describe my dick.” Jared joked, snorting and almost dropping the pumpkin.OrJared and Connor carve pumpkins.





	Pumpkin Carving and Cuddles

“That pumpkin is fuckin’ huge.” Connor pointed out, looking at the pumpkin Jared picked out. “You can barely pick it up.”  
  
Jared grinned, both arms wrapping around the pumpkin. He groaned as he shakily lifted it, all the while keeping eye contact with Connor. “That’s another way to describe my dick.” Jared joked, snorting and almost dropping the pumpkin.  
  
Connor scoffed. “Nah. It’s average.” Connor shot back. Jared faked hurt, brows furrowing.  
  
“Ouch. Whatever, loser. Help me carry this fuckin’ thing.” Jared said, adjusting the pumpkin.  
  
Connor shook his head, sighing softly. “Oh, the things I do for you.” Connor muttered. He reached over, helping support the weight of Jared’s pumpkin.  
  
Jared stood on his toes, just barely pecking Connor’s chin from over the pumpkin. “You love it,” Jared teased. Connor just shook his head.  
  
Soon enough, they got Jared’s gigantic pumpkin and Connor’s own _normal-sized_ pumpkin to the car, heading home.  
  
“Let’s carve this bitch,” Jared said, his pumpkin perched on the counter before him, newspaper askew. Connor chuckled.  
  
“Can you even reach the top? You’re like, the same height as it.” Connor half-joked, moving his hand from the top of Jared’s pumpkin to the top of his head, comparing the heights. Of course, it wasn’t that big. Just heavy and round.  
  
Jared stuck his tongue out towards Connor. “You suck,” he shot back, letting out a huff and turning to his pumpkin.  
  
Connor smirked. “Only if you ask nicely,” he teased in return, leaning over to kiss the top of Jared’s head.  
  
Jared let out a huff, his cheeks a bright red. That was _his_ thing. _He_ was supposed to make Connor flustered, not the other way around.  
  
Connor smiled proudly at Jared’s lack of response, reaching out and patting a cheek. “So cute.” Connor cooed, picking up a knife.  
  
“Let’s start carving.” Connor added afterwards, already pulling his pumpkin closer to him. He stared at it for a moment before piercing the skin, starting to carve around the stem. Jared followed suit, holding his vegetable as he cut into it.  
  
“I just wanna carve out the face and shit already. This takes too long.” Jared complained, not even halfway through carving out the top.  
  
Connor chuckled, shaking his head. “If you want, like, the guts and shit to spill out, that’s fine by me. You’re cleaning it up if it leaks.” Connor reminded, already finished taking off his stem. Connor pulled the seeds and insides from the stem, discarding them in the bowl he had picked out.  
  
Jared just groaned, shaking his head. He continued carving out the top, tongue slightly poking out from his lips, brows furrowed in concentration. “Bullshit. I hate this.” Jared said, although he didn’t really. He loved spending time like this with Connor. Connor was doing so great lately and Jared was happy he could have a day where Connor wasn’t having another one of his episodes.  
  
“Mm, yeah, sure. You’re still doing it anyways.” Connor pointed out, wiping his hands on the worn, paint-splattered apron.  
  
And, he did. They both continued to carve and pull out the insides from their selective pumpkins. A few times, Jared managed to complain enough for Connor to just do it for him, although Jared grumbled and offered to continue doing it himself.  
  
Soon enough, the pumpkins were empty.  
  
Connor stretched, cracking his back with a grunt. “There. _Now_ we can carve, babe. I’m just so happy we got through it, because of how often you complained that ‘the pumpkin shit is squishy.’” Connor said. While he sounded annoyed, a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. He adored this, too.  
  
If Jared wasn’t complaining, it didn’t feel right. It wasn’t like how it should be. Jared complained when he felt comfortable; it was too often that Connor was having hallucinations or screaming or laughing at nothing for him to be comfortable around him.  
  
But now it was alright. Connor was glad.  
  
Jared beamed up at Connor, eyes sparkling with an excitement he didn’t realize he had. “Jesus Christ, finally.” Jared muttered, leaning up and pecking Connor’s lips. “I would like to thank my incredibly tall, incredibly _hot_ boyfriend for getting me to this point. I wouldn’t have gotten to this point without him.” Jared announced, making a fake microphone with his hand and just as melodramatically wiping away fake tears with the other.  
  
Connor watched him, pale cheeks filling with warmth at his words. “You’re such a fuckin’ dork, babe.” Connor said, letting out a laugh to cover up his obviously blushing face.  
  
Jared, of course, had to make a comment. “And _you_ are incredibly hot and tall. Also, pretty as _fuck_ and the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.” Jared replied, unable to help from wrapping his arms around Connor and pulling him close.  
  
Connor forced a groan, although he held Jared back.  
  
_This_ _was_ _love_.  
  
“Gross. So, so sappy.” Connor said, pressing a kiss to Jared’s forehead.  
  
Jared grinned up to Connor, pressing a trail of kisses from his neck, to ear, to lips. “Didn’t think I was the type, babe?” Jared teased. Before Connor could answer, Jared did for him. “Well, I am. A sappy little shit.“ Jared said, chest puffed up against Connor’s own in his usual arrogant pride.  
  
Connor shivered at the kisses, kissing Jared back for the small time it lasted. “Very sappy.” Connor murmured, pulling back enough to look at Jared. “More than enough for the both of us. I don’t mind it, though.” Connor admitted, pressing a kiss to Jared’s brow this time. He fixed Jared’s glasses before pulling back.  
  
  
“Now,” he started, letting go of Jared to pick up a smaller knife. “Carving time. The fun carving.” Connor said, waving the knife around.  
  
This time, it was exciting to Jared. There were too many times to count when Connor did that before, and not while carving pumpkins.  
  
Jared pushed the thought away, picking up his own knife. “Fun carving.” Jared repeated, grinning. “What’re you gonna make? Something emo, or whatever the fuck?” Jared asked curiously, grinning up to Connor.  
  
Connor scoffed, shaking his head. “No. I...don’t know yet, honestly. A face, probably?” Connor said, shrugging.  
  
Jared rolled his eyes. “Oh my god, Con. That’s so _boring_.” Jared said honestly, shaking his head. “Whatever. I mean, you paint and whatnot. You’ll manage to make _boring_ _shit_ look _good_.” Jared decided, nodding.  
  
Connor chuckled, shaking his head. “I appreciate that, babe. Thanks.” Connor said, studying the pumpkin for a moment. Before he started, he paused, looking over to Jared.  
  
He was smirking.  
  
Connor chewed his lip for a moment, pushing away what feelings were brought on by that stupid Jared Kleinman signature smirk. Then, he asked, “Hey, babe?”  
  
Jared put down the knife, still smirking. He looked up to Connor, tilting his head. “Yes?”  
  
“What are you making?”  
  
“It’s a secret. Not telling. Too busy makin’ it perfect.” Jared said vaguely, turning back to his pumpkin to carve it.  
  
“Alright, weirdo,” Connor teased, turning to start on his own pumpkin. That was all that happened for a while, the two conversing and occasionally stealing kisses.

Although, that was abruptly stopped when Jared let out a yelp, holding his hand to his chest and blinking hot tears away.  
  
“Son of a _bitch_ -“ Jared seethed, looking down.   
  
Jared had cut his hand. It was a shallow cut, although it had sliced through a good few inches of his hand.   
  
Connor immediately put down his own knife, eyes wide and mouth open.   
  
“Holy shit, babe. What the _hell_ did you do?” Connor asked, alarmed. Blood was already gushing. Connor reached behind him, untying his apron and flipping it over to the clean side, holding it to Jared’s wound. Jared gasped, letting out a trail of swears afterwards.   
  
Connor looked around, glancing to the drops of blood on the newspaper and wood floor. Then, he jolted. “Stay here. I’ll get bandages and stuff.” Connor instructed in a slight frenzy.   
  
Not even a minute after he left, Connor was back with the first aid kit. He took in a breath, quickly moving back to a rambling Jared. “Just breathe, okay, baby? I’ll take care of it, just focus on breathing.” Connor instructed, taking out the disinfectant and the cleaning pads.   
  
Jared let out a groan, taking in a breath before he continued to go on, “Fuuuuuuck! Holy fucking shit! Fuck fuck fuck-“   
  
Connor bit his cheek, just trying to get this done as best as he could so Jared would stop making so much noise. “This is gonna hurt a bit, okay?” Connor said, holding Jared’s wrist and looking to him for permission.   
  
Jared let out a long groan before nodding. “I didn’t even get to finish my dick-“ Jared wailed, looking to his pumpkin and not to the alcohol burning his hand. Jared could hear Connor holding back laughter as he prepared himself to clean Jared’s wound. Jared barely even paid attention to that, a sudden burning sensation spreading around the area of his cut.   
  
“Holy fucking shit! Stop- stop it,” Jared yelled out afterwards, looking up to Connor. Connor just looked back to Jared, suddenly horrified at how pained Jared sounded. And loud.   
  
“I’m sorry,” Connor immediately apologized, throwing out the cleaning pad and quickly fumbling to bandage Jared’s hand up. It was shallow, so he simply used some bandaids and covered up Jared’s wound once he was sure it was safe.   
  
Then, Connor reached out, pulling Jared close to his chest and combing a hand through his hair. Jared let out another trail of swears.   
  
“It hurts- Connie, it hurts. Fucking hell!” Jared continued, muffled by Connor’s shirt. He just continued to shush Jared, keeping him close.   
  
“Jared, shhh. It’s just a little cut. It’ll feel better soon. All the neighbors are going to think we’re fucking or something,” Connor pointed out, stifling a laugh. “Let’s watch a movie and cuddle or something. Will that calm you down?” Connor asked, combing skinny fingers through Jared’s hair.   
  
Jared let out an inhuman groan before he nodded. “Fuck- yeah, yeah, okay.” Jared agreed.   
  
Connor sighed softly, kissing his head. “It’s okay, baby. C’mon. We’ll get you into bed and get a movie set up. I’ll clean up super quick and we can cuddle once I’m done.” Connor explained.

Soon enough, Jared felt better, curled up against Connor. He sighed, resting his cheek on Connor’s chest and listening to his comforting heartbeat.  
  
They were watching a comedy special on Netflix, with either of the two laughing occasionally or commenting.  
  
At one point, as Jared was growing tired, he looked up to Connor. “Did you see my dick?” He asked, rubbing his eyes with his uninjured hand.  
  
Connor burst into laughter, adjusting his protective grip on Jared. “What?” He asked, brows furrowed in confusion and lips pulled to a bright smile.  
  
Jared laughed sleepily, grinning. “My dick. Dick pumpkin.” Jared said, nodding.  
  
It took a moment before the flicker of realization was sparked in Connor’s eyes. He couldn’t help but let out another trail of bubbly laughter, nodding. “Oh- oh my god, Jared. Yes, I did see your dick. It was really good. A good size. Shape.” Connor teased, craning his neck and kissing Jared’s head.  
  
Jared hummed, chest filling with pride. “Aww, you love my dick.” Jared said, wrapping the blanket tighter around himself.  
  
Connor snorted, fingertips ghosting up and down Jared’s back lovingly. “Yeah. I guess I do love your dick.”  
  
Cute. _Weird_ , but cute.

 

Now, the cliche carved face and a penis jack-o-lantern occupied the front porch.


End file.
